[ad_1]
I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives.
1. I sent an adversarial email — and replied-all
I’ve seen plenty of articles about how to respond to someone who is unprofessional, but what do I do if I was the one who was unprofessional?
I am a supervisor who often interfaces with management and sometimes takes on a management role. Recently, I was working with leadership to transition an employee into a new role on my team. I offered to work with management to support whatever transition plan they needed but, since the employee will earn more in the new position, asked that she be transitioned to the new pay scale ASAP. We were all set to transition her when our admin person cancelled the action at management’s direction. I responded to everyone on one of the emails, basically going on a rant about how we were doing a disservice to the employee and I didn’t understand why when the pay could be separated from the transition of duties.
The email wasn’t received well, to say the least. I got an email from one manager directing me to conduct any further discussion with him in person, another email from a senior manager to the entire group telling me I was being unprofessional and to start being professional, and an email from my second level manager after my response was forwarded to him by the senior manager telling me to give him a call. He then told me that my response was inflammatory, accusatory, not productive, and an exhibition of poor leadership and that I needed to change my communication methods. He brought up a similar type of response I had with a peer (so this isn’t the first time).
I responded to the senior manager’s email by apologizing for my lack of professionallism and expressing that they deserved — and I would give them — better. I want to work on my email communications with a goal of being objective and concise and making sure I *don’t* use email when I feel impassioned about the subject being discussed … which mostly centers around standing up for my employees when I feel like they’re being short-changed. What should I do to recover from this, if recovery is even possible?
Recovery is indeed possible.
Effective immediately, stop using email for anything that you feel heated or impassioned about. From here on out, you need to see email as being only for relatively dry information exchange. Anything that’s stirring up emotions in you needs to be addressed through another means — ideally in-person, but over the phone can work too, depending on the context. I’d tell you to also banish your reply-all button (because that was a big part of where you went wrong), but that shouldn’t be necessary if you follow the first rule.
Also, it’s great that you want to stand up for your employees. But your job is also to work with management above you to understand their priorities and carry them out as best as you can, while giving them information that will help them make good decisions, and ultimately recognizing they have the final call. That doesn’t mean “blindly do what higher-ups tell you.” It means “if you have information that might change their perspective, share it.” But you also have to recognize that they have priorities that might rightly trump yours at times, and they may know things about the bigger picture that you’re not privy to. If your first instinct is to go on a rant about how they’re getting it wrong rather than to seek more information and to offer input like “my concern about X is Y — would Z be an option instead?” then you’re going to make yourself far less effective (and annoy people around you in the process). Right now you’re coming across as adversarial, when you need to be coming across as collaborative.
You can’t effectively stand up for your employees if everyone thinks you’re a hothead.
– 2019
2. Should I tell my coworkers I have hemorrhoids?
This is a little gross, but something that would be really helpful to have some advice on. I have been in my role as an administrative assistant for about two years now. Around the time I started this job, I developed hemorrhoids (or more precisely, piles, as we all have hemorrhoids).
I called out sick eight or nine times the first year I worked here. It felt like a lot. The first few times I was out, people asked if I was feeling alright and were concerned. I always said I had a stomach bug, because I was obviously not sick with a cough/cold. As the year went on, people stopped asking me if I was feeling better, or smiled when they asked if I was feeling better. I imagine they thought I was playing hooky.
The issue I have cannot be fixed with surgery. I have really worked on my diet and as a result, have a lot less issues with my condition. I have only called out once in the past 4 months as a result of the condition. My question to you is, should I share my condition with coworkers? I have always been on the fence about how much I want to keep this to myself and how much I care about my reputation.
There is one other person in the office who calls out as much as I did the first year, but she has a condition that is less embarrassing/gross, and so we all know why she is out when she is out. I also want my manager to know why I called out so much that first year, in case I do decide to look for a new job in the future. I don’t want them to think I am a bad employee. What do you think about this?
Sharing that you’re dealing with hemorrhoids would be TMI, but I do think you could mention that you have a chronic health condition. The next time you’re out sick, you could say something like, “I have a chronic health condition that’s flaring up” or you could mention it in conversation another way. That’s the piece that people need to know, not the specifics of what the condition is.
In addition to that, if you wanted to, you could say something less off-the-cuff to your boss. For example: “I know I called out more than average in my first year here. I have a chronic health condition that was flaring up a lot that year. It’s now better under control, and I wanted to mention it so that you didn’t wonder why I was out so much previously. Going forward, I’m hoping that it won’t be an issue at all.” I don’t think you have to do this since it sounds like your absences have gone way down, but it’s an option if it would give you some peace of mind.
– 2017
3. Client keeps saying “I love you”
I work for a staffing agency, and I’m used to our employees being effusive and grateful when we’re able to find them work, whether it’s short or long term. I enjoy helping people find employment and knowing that I am making a positive difference in their lives.
That being said, I’ve recently had an employee (male who appears to be in his 50s) saying “I love you” almost every time I speak with him on the phone and it’s making me (female who appears to be late 20s/30s) a little uncomfortable. He’s not saying it in a romantic way or making other inappropriate comments, so I think he is just genuinely grateful that we’re getting him work. (It’s basically like “thank you so much for getting me this job, I love you.”)
Right now, I simply ignore it when he makes those comments and redirect the conversation to something work-related, but I’m wondering if it would be worth it to address the comments and, if so, how you suggest doing so.
For additional context, he’s a labor guy and I think simply out of touch with professional norms. For instance, he was so happy when we got him a long-term assignment that he said he wanted to take our entire staff out to dinner when he got his first paycheck as a thank-you (which we obviously told him was not necessary).
It sounds like he’s just being really effusive and not realizing that that’s not quite a professional way to do it.
The next time he says it, you could try saying something like “No need for any declarations of love! It’s our job to place good people in jobs.” Or, “You’re very kind to be so appreciative, but no professions of love are needed.” If you do that a few times, he might get the hint.
Or you could be more direct about it, but if he’s genuinely just overflowing with gratitude, I hate to slap him down for it unless you’re feeling creeped out, which doesn’t sound like the case. (If you were, though, you could say, “I’m glad you’re happy in the job, but I have to be frank that the I-love-you’s are making me uncomfortable. I know you’re a nice guy and wouldn’t want that.”)
– 2017
4. Is this a good weakness to share in an interview?
If I told an interviewer that my biggest weakness during an interview is that I am very hard on myself and I continue to feel like I can do a better job and continue to strive for better performance of myself in my career, how would that come across during an interview? Would that not be a good weakness to reveal during an interview?
Nope, it’s going to sound disingenuous, whether or not it actually is. It’s too much in the model of “I’m a perfectionist” or “I work too hard” or other attempts to answer with something the applicant hopes the interviewer will actually see as a strength. (Perfectionism can actually be a crippling weakness, so it’s always weird when people don’t realize that.)
– 2015
[ad_2]
Source link