It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.
There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.
Remember the letter-writer asking if it was OK to vacation with a friend from work (#3 at the link)? Here’s the update.
Thanks so much for your advice on going on vacation with my work friend (as well as all the comments!). I’ve got a quick update for everyone.
I did decide to go on vacation with my coworker Brad, and nothing untoward happened while on the trip. No lines were crossed, we finished the trip cordial but slightly less chatty. I assumed that was because we ran out of things to talk about after a few days by the pool, but its clear that wasn’t the case.
It’s been 3 months or so since the trip, and things have been a bit frosty between us. Occasionally I’d texted Brad to grab dinner or something after work, but I always got turned down. All conversations and messages were clipped/rude, including conversations about work topics.
After being in my new department for 6 months now, I’ve picked up some red flags about Brad that I missed before (or chose to ignore due to our friendship). He is consistently rude/uncooperative/unhelpful with the whole department, to the point of people being nervous to talk to him.
I’ve stopped messaging/talking to Brad unless I have a work request, and even then I’m wary of approaching him. Occasionally I’ll get a late night text asking to meet him at the neighborhood bar after he’s had a few drinks, but then he’ll go back to avoiding me the next day.
All things considered, I’m still glad I went on the trip with Brad, it was a nice vacation and it opened my eyes to how he is. I don’t think this strained our work relationship, from what I can tell he now treats me like he treats everyone else on the team (minus the drunk texts!).
Thanks again for all the feedback from everyone in the comment section (and Allison of course!)
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