should we offer severance to a belligerent, hostile employee? — Ask a Manager

LW#1, I know you said that the name you used in the letter (Achilles) is not the actual name of the baby/dog… but I do just want to note that Achilles is an interesting example here, because while it is an unusual name for human babies, it’s actually an extremely common name for dogs (source: a family member of mine works in the pet industry and works with dozens of animals every week). And again, I know that Achilles is not the actual name being used here—but there are a ton of names that are uncommon for humans but super common for dogs (e.g. Titus, Loki, Zeus, Nova), and if this name falls into that category, I think there’s a non-zero chance it could be a genuine coincidence.

There could also be lots of other reasons why Jane picked that name for her dog that have nothing to do with her coworker’s baby. It could be a name that she’s always felt attached to. It could be the name of a fictional character she loves. It could be the name the breeder gave the puppy, and she loved it too much to change it.

You mentioned that there’s some contention in the relationship between these two employees, and also that everyone in the meeting was “stunned” when Jane revealed her puppy’s name. It seems like both you and the rest of the team believe Jane did this to intentionally spite her coworker (which, while not impossible, would be a pretty strange way to try to spite someone). I’m not sure if you have a concrete reason for believing that or not, but I think it is worth considering how this will all feel from Jane’s point of view if her puppy’s name didn’t have any malicious intent:

– Jane gets a new puppy and is excited to share the news with everyone at work
– When she announces her new puppy and shares his name, instead of being excited for her, everyone is visibly shocked and uncomfortable
– It soon becomes clear that a coworker who Jane has already had issues with has decided that Jane’s puppy name was an coded jab at her, and everyone else at work—including Jane’s own manager—agrees with this interpretation and is judging Jane for it

Again, you’re more involved in the situation, so it’s very possible that you have concrete evidence that Jane did this as a strange way to try to provoke her coworker… but unless you do, I do think it’s really worth considering the possibility that Jane genuinely didn’t mean anything by it, and to consider how this probably feels for her if that’s the case. I’ll admit that I may be biased here because the idea of “stealing” a baby name has never made sense to me, but someone maliciously naming their dog in an attempt to deliberately upset their coworker just seems so strange that I really think it’s worth considering other possibilities.