the questionable drop-off, the kazoo lover, and other tales of carpooling for work — Ask a Manager

Last week, we talked about carpooling for work, and here are eight of my favorite stories you shared — some heartwarming, some not.

1. The kazoo music

I fondly think of the coworker who, when I offered her the aux cable to play music off her device, looked hesitant and then said, “Look, I need to warn you, there’s going to be a lot more kazoo music then you’d expect.”

2. The trick

I carpooled once with a coworker who lived in my neighborhood. I didn’t even realize he lived near me until he approached me one day and asked if I would like to carpool. Gas was hideously expensive, so I thought why not. The next day, before he dropped me off at home, he swung past his ex-wife’s house. He pulled over to chat with her for a minute and heavily implied that he and I were an item. When he actually took me home after that I told him I would be driving myself in the future.

3. The dog

I carpooled only once. The coworker did not tell me that she would drop her Great Dane at the dog daycare. I could not sit in the passenger seat because apparently that is her husband’s seat (?), and only he can. I should have just said I changed my mind then and there, but no, apparently young me was a glutton for punishment.

I had to sit in the back of the car with the enormous dog, which kept trying to push his muzzle in my face, full force. I asked my coworker to help me, as I was covered in drool, and she told me — seriously, and I’m quoting here — “My husband lets him put his tongue in his mouth; that calms him down.”

I took a taxi to go back home after work.

4. The drop-off

A long time ago, I had a job in an office building in the middle of an industrial park one town over. I had to bus-train-bus every day. One day a coworker offered to drive me to my train station because she passes that way on her way home. That sounded wonderful until we got to the road that the train station was named after and she said cheerily, “Here we are!” Except the train station was nowhere in sight. I asked her where the station was, or even which direction it was and got another cheery, “No idea! But I have to turn here so you better hop out!” (Note she hadn’t even pulled over, she was just at an intersection waiting to turn right.)

Basically I was in the middle of nowhere, no clue where I was, on a busy road with no sidewalks. Luckily I guessed the right direction and after a LOT of walking got to the train station. I never accepted a ride from her again.

5. The morning person

In my first job out of college, I started carpooling with two colleagues, a man about my age and a slightly older woman. It was fine at first, but soon enough the guy drove me bonkers! I, dear reader, am not a morning person, in any sense. But this guy. He never. Stopped. Talking. Usually about fascinating topics, and I often love a good thought-provoking debate, but like – not at 6 am before the first cup of coffee’s kicked in, ya know? He even once printed out a several page article about one of our “lively” morning discussion topics and left it in my mailbox for me later in the day. Thanks, but dude – sun’s not even up yet, and I barely remember my own name. I was at least grateful for the other woman in our carpool who could absorb some of the mental demand of thoughtful interaction at screw-this o’clock in the morning.

Eventually, he and I got opportunities to talk at later times in the day when I was a fully functioning human, and I found out that I actually enjoyed his conversation and company (when I was awake enough to participate.) We got on famously everywhere EXCEPT the early-morning carpool.

20 years later, we no longer work at the same place. However, he’s still a hopeless morning person, and I still have to remind him regularly that, really, I cannot absorb an in-depth analysis on the state of foreign politics before my first cup of coffee. He’s an excellent cook and the kids are adorable, though.

6. The neighbor

I was at the train station one day waiting for my commuter train. It didn’t come when it was due, and after several minutes went by there was finally an announcement that it wasn’t coming at all due to technical difficulties. I was about to call an Uber when a kind-looking woman on the platform told me she was going to drive into the city and offered me a ride.

It was risky because she was a stranger, but I said yes. She began leading me back to her house, and she said, “I just live there on the corner. My dogs have probably barked at you.” And then I realized with dread that she was the Barky Dog Mom. Her dogs have charged and barked at me on numerous occasions, and I’m afraid of them because them seem vicious and an invisible fence is the only thing between them and me (and I don’t completely trust those things). One day I recorded her dogs barking at me. I had no plans of posting it anywhere, and it was honestly because I thought there was a real possibility of them attacking me and I wanted evidence if that happened. She came out of her house and confronted me, telling me that I didn’t need to record it. I’m not proud of my behavior, but I yelled back at her how her dogs were a menace to then neighborhood, and we got into a shouting match.

Fast forwarding to that day at the train station, we didn’t recognize each other because we had been 40 or 50 feet away from each other when that altercation took place. I didn’t know what to do, so I just got in her car and let her drive me. It’s about a 30- or 40-minute drive, so we had plenty of time to talk. She was so nice!! We talked about our jobs, our families, our childhoods … just about everything. Toward the end I finally fessed up, identifying myself as the neighbor who had recorded her dogs and screamed at her, and said that I’d understand if she wanted to kick me out of her car. But she was so cool about it, she said she understood me being frightened of her dogs and didn’t hold grudges. And I said I understood how me taking a video of her dogs would antagonize her and reassured her I had never shared it with anyone. I also promised to delete it, which I later did.

My neighbor and I are on great terms now. She invited me to come over and meet her dogs, and I’m not afraid of them anymore! The next day I sent her some thank-you flowers for giving me a ride to work that day. And for not kicking me out of her car!

7. The problem with time

I carpooled for years with an otherwise lovely colleague who simply could not be on time. No matter what time I asked her to be ready, she would be at least five minutes late. The excuses varied from “I slept in” to “my kids are sick” to “I had to redo my hair.” There was always a reason, an apology, and a promise to do better the next day that would inevitably be broken. This really stressed me out because we worked for a micromanager who hated when employees were late.

She lived about a five-minute drive from my home, so I started texting her “I’m outside” when I was getting ready to leave. She never ever caught on because I was still there before she emerged, with an excuse and an apology and a promise to do better the next day. We carpooled for years.

(No regrets – she paid me in free Starbucks and it was worth it!)

8. The friend

I have a good story! 20 years ago, I had a coworker who lived nearby. Once she asked if I could drive her to work, car issues, no biggie. She wanted to pay me something for gas but since it was truly on the way I said, “Nah, maybe save me a couple cookies next time you make some” (she did).

Some time later there was a road construction project that made a good part of the commute a real PITA. My wife got tired of hearing me gripe about it and said why don’t you and Tammy (real name) carpool? So we started carpooling for the next year or two until I moved. And we LOVED it. We switched off every day or two, saved money on gas, and would gab about all kinds of things … fav foods and cooking usually. Having someone to talk to made the lousy parts of the commute go by much easier. Tammy, if you’re out there, I hope you’re doing well!